Alternate Ending to The Empire Strikes Back

A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

Darth Vader: "No! I am your father!"

Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."

Darth Vader: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

Luke: "NO!"

Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"

Luke: "Threepio?"

Darth Vader: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old."

Luke: "No."

Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."

Luke: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

Darth Vader: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

Luke: "Well, it's not my fault."

Darth Vader: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith .. waahhh wahhh!'"

Luke: "Shut up."

Darth Vader: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!"

Luke: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"

Darth Vader: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

Darth Vader: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine."

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: "And get a haircut!"

Make the comparison!

How Lightsabers Work

It's All In The Handle

A lightsaber is a unique device, created by hand -- the controls will be slightly different on each individual lightsaber that you buy. But all lightsabers share the same general characteristics. If you were ever to pick up and examine a typical lightsaber, here are several things that you would immediately notice:

• A lightsaber is normally about 30 centimeters long, about the size of a large flashlight.
• At one end is the hand grip, belt ring and on/off switch (a.k.a., the Activation Matrix).
• At the other end there is the blade arc tip and stabilizing ring.
• Somewhere on the case (generally near the blade end of the lightsaber) you find one or two adjusting knobs for blade power and blade length.

When you turn on the lightsaber (*see important safety tips), you will notice the blade rapidly extending to its set length. You can adjust the length using the blade length adjusting knob. The lightsaber blade will make a distinctive sound that is typical of an arc wave energy field. You will also feel a gyroscopic effect in the handle, which again is a distinctive characteristic of the arc wave blade. This gyroscopic effect can take some getting used to, so be sure to handle any active lightsaber with extreme care until you are completely familiar with its feel and handling.


The four major components inside any lightsaber include:

• The power cell and associated components
• The crystal energy chamber
• The energy channel and blade arc tip
• The controls

Now that you know all about how they work. I'll show you some practical applications for a lightsaber around the home.

Slicing and Toasting a Bagel at the same time.

Hedge Trimming

Reheating Coffee or other hot drinks.

Cutting and Serving Cake

As you can see, there are many applications for this type of instrument that doesn't include hacking off alien body parts in the Cantina. But of course, some would have you believe that a lightsaber is a fictional weapon/tool. I have not yet lost hope that a lightsaber will one day be developed for household use and sold through late night infomercials. Once this happens, I plan on having my credit card number in hand and ready for the operators standing by and so as to not waste any time whatsoever, I shall upgrade to the Express Shipping as opposed to waiting 4 to 6 weeks for my new toy to arrive.

It would also be very handy once the zombie invasion begins. (For Paul)

Can you think of any other household uses for such as awesome power?

SRC: http://www.howstuffworks.com/lightsaber.htm/printable

Uniqueness